The first mountain climb I ever went on was with a group of men I did not know. I joined a church in 2017 because my life needed something more than I had experienced up to that point. There were a lot of things I tried to catch up on after living as an addict for such a long period of time. One of those things was becoming a better person. What does that actually mean? Well, I will give a little more context.
I was raised by addicts, taught to be an addict, and lived as an addict for a number of decades. I did not know what it meant to have a stable parent, a good parent, a friend to myself and others, or how to navigate life from a place of fullness. So, after being clean for a few years, I sought out a spiritual place where I might find some of the things I was missing. I was led to the right place because not long after joining the church, I met the climber who would teach me more about the mountains than I was learning on my own.
On my first climb (I thought it was a day hike) I was introduced to facing my fear without the ability to numb the fear with drugs. I am pretty afraid of heights and at one point during the climb we reached a ridgeline that was pretty sketchy. I thought that would be the end of me, my anxiety peaked and I felt like it was going to kill me, that I would fall down the mountain on either side of the ridge. Alas, I did not. As we were traversing the basin edge, I again thought I would meet my end. At this point, I did slide down the side of the basin heading toward massive rocks 1000 feet below, but I was roped in and made it through the journey. On the way down from the summit, a team mate slipped and caught his crampon on a tree and broke his tibia. This I thought might be the end, but the team pulled together and we made it off the mountain safely. Bonds were created that day that would never be broken.
Last Saturday, almost 4 years later, I climbed with my team again. We have all gone on many adventures together since our first climb, but Saturday was something like a reunion climb. They have proven to be some of the best friends I have ever had in my life. I have also learned many skills I was not taught as a child, as a result of joining the church and climbing mountains. My life is such an amazing story today. I often have to make sure I am not dreaming because it is crazy that this long term addict is living a life today I never thought possible.
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